Spectre of Intention Read online

  “… following employee pictures: Maxwell McKinnis, Amelia Dion, Steve Kan, Nathaniel Ma, Terry Rodriguez, and George Adams.”

  Get in there. Now.

  I walked.

  The fringe of the group was loosely packed. I made it past them, merely sensing their fear, watching their desire to either flee the room or to stoically withstand that fear. But by the middle I was bumping people to push past, pushing through their ghostly souls created by the power of raw emotion. Even the most decent, most focused people were going to feel something actionable in a moment like that. I kept my body rigid as the anger, affront, and attraction washed over me. Distracted intentions shoved at my shoulders, groped at my breasts and my ass, stroked my face. But as I wove through I felt nothing that felt strong enough to indicate an accomplice.

  I burst free of the throng at the door of the bathroom. I rushed in and shut the door behind me. I heard voices rising outside.

  “These aren’t just missing passengers?”

  “Are they terrorists?”

  “Shouldn’t you be using security personnel for this kind of thing?”

  “What happened?”

  “Who are these people?”

  Cam called for quiet.

  “The missing passengers are persons of interest in an investigation and I believe that it is best for everyone aboard this ship that these passengers be located immediately…”

  I leaned over the counter and just breathed. My face was pale with the nausea. But I would get over it.

  With one hand, I sent Cam the message: All clean.

  I heard him hand out assignments. And that overwhelming emotional pressure in the room slowly begin to release down to…

  A knock at the door.

  “Are you alright in there?”

  “Yeah.”

  The door opened.

  Cam stood in the doorway, looking at me. I straightened, tried to rub the nausea out of my cheeks.

  “You don’t look alright.”

  “I’ll be fine. Just worry about finding the bad guys, huh?”

  Cam’s intention looked toward the suite door, but Cam stepped forward, slid his hands down my arms. And I saw some flicker of something in his eyes, an idea forming in that baffling mind. I let my curiosity play over my face, but he just shook his head and pulled me into those long, strong arms, gave me a hard squeeze.

  “We’ll find them and lock them away good. Don’t you worry about that.”

  I followed him out into the living room and gave him a smile as he left, stared at the door as it settled into place behind him. Amilee’s sorrowful, betrayed eyes rose up in my mind.

  Yes, go ahead and find the people who were once my world. Catch them and lock them away good.

  Fuck.

  I tossed my button camera, my mike, and my earpiece down on Paula’s desk next to my workpad.

  “All critical crew and a few of the kitchen staff are back at their stations.”

  Jessie, Gerard, and Paula rose from the clutter of couches and chairs in the back of the sitting room.

  “So how much longer we gonna be sitting here?” Gerard asked.

  I shook my head.

  “No idea. An hour, maybe more. They’ve already found the room where they’d been hiding out. Nothing particularly interesting left behind. Just coffee cups and food wrappers. Some clothes. Dmitri down the hall is taking all the reports. I asked if he could pass them along.” I gestured to my workpad. “You can follow along, if you want.”

  Paula started powering down her equipment. Jessie walked into the back room and switched off the interview monitor but left the ballroom monitor running. He came back in and picked up my pad.

  “They’re moving pretty fast.” I couldn’t tell if he thought that was a good thing or a bad thing. “Cam gotten anything out of Davina?”

  “Not that Dmitri had heard. Kind of tough. Such a small team and they knew each other pretty well.”

  “Or thought they did,” Paula said.

  I looked over at her. “Yeah, or thought they did.”

  To my overwhelming relief, everyone’s intentions were growing faint. Whether that was due to the calming of their emotions or just the effect of Stephan’s attack fading, only time would tell. God, I hoped it was the latter or I might just end up one of those old hermit types who never went out anywhere for fear of crowds.

  In the midst of my introspection, I found Paula still watching me. And I knew she was wondering just how well she knew me.

  Even though I understood, it still left me a little sad. To distract myself I glanced around the room.

  “The food won’t be ready for about another fifteen minutes, but I saw coffee left over in the waiting room. Anybody want any?”

  Jessie handed the pad to Gerard.

  “Why don’t you just bring the whole pot back? Got a feeling it’s going to be a long night.”

  Paula looked up at him with tired resignation. His big hand ran up her back, rested on her shoulder with a gentle reassuring squeeze. Gerard caught me looking and we shared a knowing smile. And even his smile held happiness. The two good people in our lives had found each other. Things were going to be alright.

  Gerard wandered deliberately toward the back room; I headed for the door.

  I eyed the remains of the snack trays. I didn’t really know if the food would be up in fifteen minutes and if I was already hungry, then Jessie and Gerard would be ravenous. I grabbed the ice bucket from the bathroom started filling it with crackers and grapes and anything else that didn’t look too wilted.

  Then I went back into the bathroom for the coffee pot. I slipped it under the giant metal dispenser and flipped the lever. The spout started trickling before the pot was even halfway full.

  I groaned.

  “Sorry, I stole a cup.”

  I spun around.

  “Amilee! What are you doing here?”

  I looked over her shoulder, but I couldn’t see anyone in the bedroom behind her. I reached out. I didn’t feel anyone nearby. Fucking distracted not to have felt her coming! Asleep on my goddamned feet.

  “Oh, don’t worry. It’s just us girls.”

  I reached behind me, flicked off the coffee dispenser. “You need to get out of here.”

  She did her barely-touching-the-ground pixie walk around the displaced chair where Cam had stood just an hour before. She wore the staff uniform of white button shirt with a black skirt and tie, but on her the tidy outfit looked flirty. She stopped an uncertain distance from me.

  “So, you’re going to abandon me again?”

  I eyed her guileless expression warily, but all I saw was her faded intention reaching tentatively toward me. Amilee just smiled.

  “Come on, the three of us were perfect together, Ashley. We pulled off the most incredible jobs! And I need my best friend back. Who else is going to watch old Jane Austen movies with me? Not Stephan. He’s great in bed, but he’s not you. He simply doesn’t understand the orgasmic joy of chocolate covered pretzels dipped in marshmallow crème.” She laughed, so much exactly the same girl I remembered that it twisted my heart to think how I was about to betray her.

  She stepped closer.

  I stepped toward the door.

  “Come on, Ash. You’ve always been my best friend. Stephan had me half-convinced you were dead. But look, here we are again, and it can be perfect. Let Mak hang. He’s a wack-job anyway. Stephan has a way out of here. We’ll be gone and halfway back to the islands before they can finish searching the ship.”

  I took another step; she mirrored me, got close enough to touch me.

  “It’ll be just like before, that incredible rush, the parties afterward. Hangin’ out while we scope out the houses…. You’re trying to get to the door.” She looked so hurt, felt so hurt. My stomach turned. That whole world I’d left behind, the whole world I’d rejected had somehow become everything to her. It wasn’t just her face that hadn’t changed; it was her. Just like I clung to Ashley as everything weak and
disgusting in me, she clung to Ashley as everything good and perfect in her life.

  Oh, jeezus.

  “Ami—”

  “You know what those people are going to do, don’t you? They are going to connect you with us and they are going to put you in jail. They don’t give a shit about you.”

  “They do give a shit about me. But they also give a shit about right and wrong, Amilee.”

  “So, they’ll judge you by what you did when you were young and stupid. Ash, I don’t care what you’ve done. I’ll always be there for you. You know that.”

  I had to break this off, end it. Her pleas were having little effect on Ashley, but I couldn’t risk it, couldn’t risk succumbing to some misplaced sense of loyalty.

  “You need to get out of here.”

  I turned, but she grabbed my arm and clung.

  “Come on, Ash, I’m getting you out of here. You left me. I’m not leaving you.”

  Now Ashley stirred.

  Oh, no. Fucking forget it.

  I twisted back around, faced Amilee dead on.

  “I’m not the person you remember anymore, Ami. I haven’t been that person since the minute I got up the courage to walk out the door and never come back. My name isn’t Ashley. And it never will be again.”

  I shook her hand off, caught a terrible wave of pain. I didn’t, couldn’t look back, but went straight for the door.

  Her sad, sad voice trailed from across the suite.

  “The guard’s not there, Ashley.”

  Dmitri wasn’t there.

  I ran down the hall toward the interview room. Ami would be long gone by the time Jessie and Gerard got there, but if there was even a chance….

  I threw open the door, but it hit something mid-swing. I shoved, but it didn’t move. Through the crack, I could see the interview desk lying on its side.

  Pain, pain, pain. Ice cold pain.

  White hot pain, spreading, consuming.

  “Oh, god!”

  I rammed at the door. It gave; I stumbled into the room. The obstruction was Jessie.

  Cold, so cold.

  I dropped to my knees. My hands hovered over him, not knowing where to touch, so much blood. His chest had three holes in it, meat and bone and red, red blood. I couldn’t look. I grabbed his face between my hands.

  “Jess—Jessie. Oh, my god.”

  My thumbs stroked those wonderful crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes. His eyelids fluttered, but they didn’t open. The spectre of his intention became so solid between us that I had to pull back. It raised its cold hands to my face. I closed my eyes.

  “You can’t go, Jessie. I can’t…not without you. This is my fault. Oh, god.”

  I felt his lips brush mine. I thought I felt his breath brush my face. His thumb drew away my tears.

  “Kaitlin.”

  I opened my eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes didn’t open; blood streaked his lips as he whispered.

  “You’re going to be strong. You’re going to get these guys. Take…take care of Gerard for me.”

  I clutched at him, but the blood poured from his lips now. His big, strong body jerked and shuddered. His intention tried to hide my face in its shoulder, held me tight and close as it grew stronger and stronger.

  “Jessie, you hold on.” I tried to stand, but he wouldn’t let me go. “Please, somebody help!”

  “Paula…sorry.”

  “I’ll tell her. I’ll tell her. Jessie, you’ve got to—”

  The connection snapped tangibly. Jessie’s intention, Jessie’s soul, rose with me still folded in his arms. He raised my face, kissed me so tenderly.

  I love you.

  “I love you, too. I owe you everything. I won’t forget that, not for a second. Oh, god, where…wherever you’re going…be happy. Please.”

  He smiled down at me, brushed his fingers through my hair like he’d always wanted to.

  And then he was gone.

  I knew those screaming sounds were mine. I buried my face deeper into Jessie’s arm to try to block them out.

  I felt Paula walk in.

  “Oh, my god.” There was a long pause, punctuated by curses. “Cam, Jessie’s been shot. Kaitlin’s covered with blood—”

  “I’m five seconds away. Call the infirmary. Shit, there’s nobody in there. I’ll take care of it.”

  I heard her steps draw closer. The fine bones of her hand closed over my shoulder. I cringed. I’d taken him away from her. I’d killed him. I couldn’t face her. I couldn’t.

  “Kaitlin, are you okay?”

  “He’s dead. He’s dead.”

  “Kaitlin, I think he’s still breathing.”

  I whipped my face around.

  “He’s dead! I saw him die!”

  Paula jerked back in shock, but she quickly reached for me again.

  “You need to calm down, Kaitlin. Are you hurt?”

  I registered the subtle stirring of someone in the sleeping room. I jumped to my feet, knocking Paula back on her butt. I saw a shape solidify out of the dark. I rushed forward. Not Mak.

  “Gerard!”

  “Jess?”

  Gerard stumbled toward the doorframe, but the blood from his chest spilling down his shirt had left his head empty. I caught him around the waist. He was too heavy. We went down. My back hit the leg of the overturned desk, the leg snapped off, and we hit the floor.

  “Can’t breathe,” I whispered.

  “Oh, shit.” Paula rushed over, but Gerard was twice her body mass in dead weight.

  Stephan picked that moment to invade my mind. My body jerked, he hit me so hard with his panic. He knew what had happened. He’d had to get close enough to reach me, to see if I was alright. He was going to get me out of here.

  Like I’d learned to slam the door on Ashley, I slammed the door on him.

  It worked.

  “Kaitlin, hey.” That was Cam. Cam was safe. “Let’s get him off her.”

  The hot-cold pressure of Gerard’s limp body rolled away and I drew a jagged breath. I opened my eyes and turned my unfocused gaze toward Cam. He stripped away my suit jacket, ran his hands over my torso. His fear beat down at my body like hits on a drum. The thump of it scrambled my agony into a tight curdled mass in my chest.

  His feather-light touch moved to my face, hesitated over the lump on my temple, moved on.

  “None of this is hers?”

  “I don’t think so, but I don’t know.”

  Cam’s face drew close to mine. That bright light in his blue eyes; that light that was gone forever from Jessie’s. God, how could that be possible? How? How? Tears smeared the image of Cam’s concern.

  “Do you think you can sit up? The medics will be here in a second. I need you to tell me what happened here, Kaitlin.”

  I gave him a small nod. Between us, we pried me up off the floor. I winced. That table leg had given my back a brutal beating.

  “All the way up?”

  I pushed at the floor. He slipped his arm around me and lifted.

  And then it started. I tried to hold it off. Maybe I could make it to the bathroom. Maybe no one would see.

  It was too fast.

  My head snapped back. My vision shifted. The room vanished, replaced by the tunnel of a jagged cave. In the distance: Mak, Stephan, and Cam ran toward me, Mak with his deadly fire, Stephan with his ice-cold control, Cam with his writhing tangle of snakes.

  “What’s happening, Paula? Is she having a seizure? Oh, god, look at her eyes.”

  “Pain, so much pain. The hunt will force your choice: Which trust will you protect? Which trust will you destroy? It will end tonight.”

  I awoke on a mat on the floor.

  In front of me, the metal legs of a hospital bed rose high above me. I swept the sheet to the side. I knew by the smell of it that I was dressed in Cam’s business shirt. Someone had done a cursory job of wiping the blood off me. My skin still felt tight and crusty in places, my hair crisp.

  I rose on legs as insubstantial as air
. I saw Gerard, his chest covered with bandages, his arm and forehead covered with sensors. The tube of an IV ran into one of the monitors. I floated over to him, touched my fingers to the gray skin of his face.

  His eyelids cracked just enough to part his eyelashes.

  “Osgood, see you finally spent the night. Was I good?”

  Tears of relief wavered in my vision, then fell. I smiled at him.

  “You were incredible.”

  His grin twisted toward the end.

  “Shh,” I murmured, stroking his cheek.

  He tried to breathe through it, but it just seemed to make it worse.

  “You’re going to get the bastard that killed Jessie, that Mak. You’re not going to go all fucking pansy-assed on me, are you?” he whispered through gritted teeth.

  “I promised him.”

  I heard a little click and the color of Gerard’s IV changed slightly. A second later, he passed out. I kept stroking his cheek.

  “And I promised him I would take care of you, too, you over-sexed jackass. How I’m going to do that, I have no idea.”

  Cam walked up behind me, his intention reaching for me, running its hands over my shoulders and back. But underneath the want and the worry, stirred a twisting anger.

  “You’re awake.”

  I turned to him. That airy feeling spread from my legs through my torso, out through my arms and my head. I felt so small and lost under his scrutiny, before his anger. He wiped my tears away. Then he turned away.

  “Come with me.”

  Dressed only in his buttery soft work shirt and my panties, I followed Cam through the ship and up to his apartment. Fortunately, most of the ship’s occupants were still safely locked away in the ballroom.

  Cam closed his apartment door behind us. The click of that lock had a horrible sound of finality to it.

  Cam laid his workpad down on the small wooden dining room table, gestured for me to take a seat.